Colten Parchert: Colten is that all too rare blend of narcissism and altruism. He plays way too many video games and has far too much time on his hands. This is an issue that he should probably fix, but he isn’t in any hurry. He would like you to know that The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is one of the greatest video games of all time, and that Fallout 4 is basically a pile of three week old dog poo in comparison. Some have claimed that he is Azor Ahai, but those people don’t actually exist, and if they did, they would be incorrect. Follow him on Twitter for infrequent and mostly awful tweets.

Kyle Hartwick: Kyle is a master of time, space, and lies. He is known for his quick wit and persuasion skills. Along with writing, video games, and sports, Kyle enjoys sitting at home by himself, staring at a blank wall, imagining fun times with his imaginary friends. Want to be Kyle’s friend? You can contact him on his Twitter page (where he attempts to convince the world that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer) or via email at kylejhartwick@gmail.com.


Harrison Faigen: Even though he’s one of the best voices in Lakers’ media, Harrison has decided to write for us in his spare time. While most famously looking into the wrong camera during a CSUF tv broadcast simulator, Harrison is also the lead contributor at Silver Screen and Roll and the co-founder of Lakers Outsiders. Non-writing related activities that he likes are video games, playing with his adorable dog(?), and drinking coffee endorsed by NBA players. He can be reached on Twitter by mentioning superheroes or how much you hate In-n-Out.

Logan Green: Hi. Allow me to introduce you to Logan Green. I am Logan Green. Logan is a precarious and modestly despicable person, who spends his days lost deep within the crevices of his mind so that he can avoid the fantastic illusion that is reality. Everything that I say about myself is true. If you wish to contact Logan, then he can be reached at logangreenrr52@gmail.com or by commenting on his sub-par writings. Don’t bother contacting me. Why shouldn’t you reach out to Logan? Reread sentence four above.